He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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