Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
