Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
