:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
