Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
