i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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