i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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