I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dicks are not precious.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
