your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
