I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
