you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
