Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
