I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
