two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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