He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
