tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
