i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
