So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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