Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
