She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
this just has baby written all over it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
two words...techno handjob
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
