Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
