i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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