Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
