chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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