There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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