What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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