I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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