you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
