in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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