Define "chronic" masturbator.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
