i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
