Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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