big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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