Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize