should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
