After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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