I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
