i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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