he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
