"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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