It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
