you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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