Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Congratulations! We have a period
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
