im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
