my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
