in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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