I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
