drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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