You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
