dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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