Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
