dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize