i barfeds in our rink
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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