i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
