so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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