i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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